Saturday, July 18, 2009

[oo1] head witch in charge

Though it may surprise some to see the vastly under-appreciated Mrs. Weasley featured as our initiate head bitch, the timing of it really shouldn't. With The Half Blood Prince's recent release we were forced to mull over Ginny Weasley's somewhat disappointing fierce-factor (don't get us wrong, we adore Bonnie Wright for the budding fashion ingenue she is). It suddenly occurred to us that the reason Ginny didn't quite live up to our expectations is because she's got some pretty big shoes to fill. Her mom's.

Hermione, Ginny, and Luna may all be fierce bitches in their own right, but none of these twaddling teenagers is really 'in charge' of anything. Molly Weasley is arguably the HBIC/HWIC of the entire fandom, and we're talking about a very large fandom with a very extensive roster. To earn the title is quite a feat.

So what, pray tell, is Mrs. Weasley in charge of? Try raising seven (yes, fucking seven) kids, not to mention the fact that her husband Arthur could very well make for eight at times. Seriously, Jon and Kate who? This bitch is giving Octo-Mom a run for her money.

Of course, when listing Molly's merits we cannot leave out perhaps the most bad-ass line spoken in the entire Harry Potter book series:

"Not my daughter, you bitch!"

Molly freaking owns Bellatrix Lestrange in a way that makes you actually root for the good guys (I'm not kidding, this is rare. Our degenerate youth are suckers for the 'misunderstood' aka evil). Also, it was about time someone got Bellatrix to STFU, especially after her uncalled for (and totally not okay) comment about Freddikins. We definitely look forward to seeing this exchange take place in live action, and should the scene be discarded like all the other scenes we actually care about to make room for more gawky teenage awkwardness, (seriously, why did Ginny tie Harry's shoe? Someone please explain this.) we think it's safe to assume that we wouldn't be alone in our bitter and embroiled rage.

Speaking of things thrown to the wayside; let's touch on the utter lack of Molly in HBP as a whole. Her house got mother-fucking burned down and she gets five seconds of screen-time, in which her tragic pout puts all thirty minutes of Emma Watson's lovelorn sulky-faces to shame.

Lastly, one of the penultimate reasons why Molly Weasley is a bonafide head witch in charge;

Bitch knits fucking sweaters (yo). We already know that this is a skill worthy of several gangsta points thanks to T-Pain & Taylor Swift. Did your mom knit you a sweater for Christmas? Not effing likely.

That's right. Molly Weasley, making suburbanite mothers and their iTunes giftcards inferior since 1949.

Proceed...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

[ooo] the internet's debutante ball

If you can read this you've probably noticed the sidebar on the right and how it attempts to explain the self-explanatory. This is HBIC of the Week.

Now, despite the fact that it's already been spelled out for you, some of you may still be wondering, "but, what exactly is a HBIC?" Allow me to clarify. H.B.I.C. stands for Head Bitch in Charge, a positive term used to notate female characters or figures who possess a certain self-confidence, wit, independence, and bravado. In other words, these are the women who will not take your shit.

Don't worry, you won't find any exhausting and over-zealous feminist rants in here. Just HBICs... and maybe also some weeks?

Sabrina & Kathleen

Proceed...